Sunday, March 15, 2009

Dude looked like-a laday

So we were just in Longo's (or Dongo's if you're a bit "touched" like me when i was a kid) picking up a few more things for dinner tonight. We had walked into the fruit n' veggie section first for Rob to get some fruit, and there was samples of blood oranges. The nice person offering the samples explained what type of fruit it was, and how it tastes, and quickly made a sale to Rob. At this point i was quietly wondering to myself whether this was a boy or girl. Kinda raspy voice, but it was a high raspy voice. Chef jacket quite over sized, so couldn't take into account whether there were boobs present (although this isn't always fool proof given so many man boobs, "tats" as i like to call them, are pretty prominent these days) and the hair under the chef's hat was longish and messy, which is pretty unisex as well. So, i did what most people would do. Checked the name tag. (and if there were no name tag you ask? Well, then we'd never truly know, and since we'd never truly know, we'd never make any reference to either sex to this "Pat's" face). But apparently Rob didn't think to second guess his quick judgement of this Pat being a female, because promptly after he had 'Pat' pick him 3 blood oranges, he jovially yells out "Thanks FRUIT LADY!" At which point i stifled a snort until we were out of earshot so i could whisper to my husband "Just so you know, the name tag said KYLE. That was not a fruit *LADY*"

I giggled the entire rest of the shopping trip.

And since Rob hates it when i continually point out one of his mistakes (like he does to MINE!) i promised him i wouldn't *always* bring it up. So naturally i wrote a blog about it. :)

Apart from our shopping trip today, there's really not much to update about! Although i have 3 shifts next week as apposed to the usual 1, not sure I'm happy about that! More money is great, but having to work 'til 10 at night, then up at 5am really puts a damper on getting crap done during the day 'cause I'm so damn tired all i wanna do is sleep. Ah well. Gotta do what ya gotta do.

Which reminds me! So ya, driving to pick up Rob one day after work last week, and I'm at the intersection at a red light waiting to turn left. See this rather hefty dude wearing mismatched clothing with a gigantic smile on his face walking across the street right in front of me. Being a people watcher, i stare at him and start to wonder why the hell he's smiling from ear to ear. Until that is, i realized he was apparently using a divining rod shoved in his pants to lead him home. Honestly. If ya get a boner walking down the street, please GOD wear a long enough jacket to cover it up. Or ATLEAST stop somewhere preferably BEHIND something, relax, simmer down now, and then continue on your trek. Geez. HIDE YOUR SHAME!

I hafta say it really creeped me out. And reminded me of all the gross old men that would show up at Zellers when i worked there and dangle their dingle out a hole in the front of their jogging pants while doing a Monty Python silly walk to get it a-spinnin'. Who woulda thunk i'd see so many penises while working at *Zellers*?!! Not even gonna tell ya of the many homeless penises that were being dragged outta the washroom by cops after trying to wash their member in the sink.

Alright, off i go. Gotta draw a lobster!!


Bob said...

won't be goin' back to Bongos for a while, methinks?

Not Your Average Mom said...

okay you are too funny....and gross. Now I have to go for shock therapy to erase that horrible horrible mental image from my head...then you segue into lobster drawing??
Have they got you on new meds? Just kidding my love, I know it's the job that is driving you insane :)
Love T