Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Poo hole inspector

Apparently that's my new job, according to Rob.

I've unfortunately taken habit of watching the dog's brown eye for signs of impending release.

Not that i have to worry about his expelling vial waste in the house anymore, he hasn't done that in ages, but unfortunately he goofs around a lot outside and forgets to go, so after 20 minutes of a supposed "quick poopee break" we head inside and 5 minutes later Beans realizes he never went. When you're trying to keep busy and have made a huge list for yourself of things to do that day, that kinda crap don't fly.

So, i take a quick peek. There's a few different sphincter poses that i've become accustomed to seeing, so i've gotten pretty good at deciphering the poop shoot. And i'd like to share what i've learned. Maybe it'll come in handy for some of you!

The Black Hole: When it looks like an inny bellybutton, he's definitely sucking in his poo hole to hang on to his steaming turds because he really has to go. And of course if he goofs around too much, the black hole changes into...

The Poka your head out: This one's a little obvious of course, because that inny belly button is expanding into an outty with a rank brown center. At this point he usually stops f'n around with the stick he's so entranced by and runs over to his pooplace to do a little jig before reaching the ultimate poopsition where there's no chance of getting any on his legs. (atleast he's considerate of that, although with his pee mind you, he sometimes gets sloppy. He starts out great, but if something makes a noise, he pivots and sprays his front paws. Lovely.)

And last but not least,

The O (a.k.a, the Hoo): This is the best position by far as it's nice, relaxed, and not likely to pop anytime soon. But don't let it fool you too much, because this is the best case scenario to expel the mind numbing breathe stealing vial stench which granted him his nickname in the first place.

Now that i've, yet again, made you all sick, let's go on to other topics shall we?

So this weekend was another installment of the Lantz Family pot luck extravaganza which we partake in once a month. And i actually remembered my camera this time!!! Amazing. But not only was it just a pot luck, it was Rob's younger sister's birthday, so it became "Shannon's surprise Pretty pink party". Hoorah! Atleast i got some good photo ops of the kids getting ready...

Here's Bailey blowing up balloons (Although apparently what she was mostly doing was blowing up the balloons, letting them go, watching it fly erratically around the room, then laughing her ass off and doing it over and over again. So it took quite a while to actually decorate with them.)

And here's Chloe blowing up balloons. (This reminds me, we have pics of Dana and I blowing up balloons when we were kids!! Maybe i'll have to find those and scan them on here. Gotta love balloon pictures!)

Here i couldn't resist taking a shot when Chloe was rolling on the couch waiting for her Auntie Shannon to get there and got major static head.

Unfortunately i lost all the pictures i took when we brought Kermit to meet Becca's 2 dogs, Tyson and Zeek. They were hilarious pictures and the funniest thing of all is they all look related. Tyson is a boxer who still pees all over the floor when Shannon's husband Tom walks in the room. But then again, who doesn't? So here's Tyson, pre-pee.

And Zeek is a pittbull cross. (They don't know what the cross is!)

But he just looks like a bigger version of Kermit!! They're all so cute. And i'm glad to see Zeek has calmed down alot so hopefully that means there's hope for our Beans!!

Speaking of beans, i've had so many of them lately!! My mom wondered the other day how i've been fairing in the toot department because of all these beans, but y'know what? The more you eat them, the less they affect you! Unless of course rancid toots has become just a daily thing that i never notice a difference?? Hmm...

So today i head to the doctors (Diabetic specialist) and i'm going to request going on the pills instead of insulin injections. I think i've been doing quite well (despite all my rants) by starting to lose weight and keeping my carbs in check, and in my view of things, i should have been given the chance to try the pills after the miscarriage. I know that from now on whenever i get preggers i'll have to inject again - which i'm perfectly okay with - but since i'm not pregnant right now, i'm not going to harm a baby by fooling around with my medication. And i think i'll do much better on the pills, because the injections aren't fairing too well with me. If i go for a walk or exercise right after i eat, my numbers drop too low, so being home alone all day it kinda worries me sometimes. I'd really like the freedom to be able to do whatever level of activity i want without wondering how the fast acting insulin injections are going to react.

But lately i've been getting much more creative in keeping my carbs down and my numbers low. A few items i've notice making a big impact? Sauerkraut! Big time. Although mixing that with a bean salad... yeah that's a little deadly. Obviously beans are a bit of a saviour when it comes to me being really hungry but can't afford the carb overload. And if my numbers are a little high, but i still need to have a snack? Instead of the crackers with cheese and kielbasa, i have cucumber slices with cheese and kielbasa! It gives me that crunch but doesn't interfere with the taste! And my favourite of all time?? Rob loves his .. well not *egg* mcmuffins cause he's allergic, so we'll just say sausage mcmuffins! I however really enjoy a good egg mcmuffin every now and then myself. But the carbs in those things are in the 40 grams per section, and with only allowing myself 45 grams per meal, it doesn't really cut it. So... i made my own!!

And the great thing about making your own?! It's also *alot* lower in the fat! I used the pillsbury dough boy country biscuits (14 grams each), i cooked the bacon in the microwave in between paper towels so it soaks up all the grease. (Of course to cut the fat even more you can use the turkey or chicken bacon, but bluh, so far i've only found ones that taste like thin pieces of cardboard with a bad aftertaste), put some cheese on there, cooked some eggs, and walla! They end up being about 16 grams of carbs each, so well under my limit. I had enough carbs left over to have some yogurt AND another coffee!! When i can have another coffee, oh ya, it's a good day.

Which reminds me... I need another coffee.

1 comment:

Darth Shenanigans said...

Hubby here!
Only thing keeping the toots to a minimum is the overdosing of cheese.
Yes, dairy by-product mainlining.
We bought a huge block of cheese Saturday and today being Tuesday we are down to one quarter of the giant orange slab.
Wishing the wife was dairybetic as opposed to diabetic.

A'right, off to bed to dream about owning a cow.