Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Look up, waaaay up

Thanks to my ma'am, things are looking up! First, she made me realize something.

After reading my last blog, she called me up and said "I see you're getting frustrated not being able to find a job. But look at all your past jobs. What didn't you like about all of those?" So i thought about that for a minute. I hated retail in general, being a cashier, being treated like dirt by people who assumed they were better than me just because of where i worked. I either loathed the people i worked with (ie *Puke) but liked the job, enjoyed the people i worked with (ie *Misha's and *Smavey Smee - with exception to a choice few), but disliked the job, or after I had learned everything my job entailed, it got freakin' ass boring. Not to say I *hated* every job, but there were always problems. A lot of them were fun, I had a lot of really great customers which for the most part always overshadowed the jerks, but none of them were quite right. There was never a happy medium. When I was in retail, i longed for an office job. When I had an office job, I longed for retail. But what it came down to was, i still needed something challenging.

So then my mom asked me "So what job is truly going to make you happy?" I didn't have to think very long before i piped up with "Working for myself".

My mom told me once when i was a little girl, that I'd never be able to work for others. I questioned that, was a tad offended. Was I mean? Did i not listen? Did i not take direction well? Those words were always stuck in the back of my mind. What exactly did she mean? I was much too young to ever have a job when she said it to me. But job after job, task after task, i finally figured it out. No, i wasn't mean, yes i could listen, yes i could take direction very well. But i didn't agree with store policies. I constantly fought for change. I got frustrated with rules that didn't make sense. I quit over managers not caring about obvious discrepancies. When i could no longer trust what my managers said, I'd move on. To me, so many things in the work place just simply made no sense. And my parents agreed, that's right, they don't make sense. But that's the way it works. And you'll never change that.

My mom was right. Again.

"So then why are you bothering to find a job which you'll end up hating anyways? If working for yourself is going to make you happy, if that's what you really want to do beyond anything else, don't stress yourself out trying to work for other people. If you need money to print your pictures, or cards, or for supplies, I'll lend you the money for that. That's what's going to make you happy, so that's what you have to do."

How much do i love my mom? I couldn't even put it into words. And it brings me to tears that i have to wait until September on her next visit before i can hug her.

But mom, don't take that as you shouldn't have moved away!! :) I'm very proud of your accomplishments, and you did the right thing accepting the job overseas. Now on a lighter note, here's a pic of my mom getting stuck in a really small, fast closing doored elevator.

Love you Mominska!!

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