Saturday, September 27, 2008

Love you like porkchops...

So the other night after Rob and I had gotten into bed, turned the lights off and kissed goodnight, he says to me "I love you". Now, this is nothing unusual, it's something that's said most every night, yet this time he added "Love you like pork chops!" For those of you who don't know Rob's incredible love of pork chops, it leans towards a Homer-esque obsession. At first I was actually quite flattered and thought it was quite humorous that he compared his love for me with the influence of food, so I quickly thought about how much I loved him. And I instinctively replied "I love you like ice cream!"

This turned into a bit of a debate. First Rob pointed out that it's obvious who's healthier for one another, but then stated "Ya but you can't always have ice cream!" What!? Hello?! Yes you can! So i reminded him of something I've been know to say on numerous occasions. "There's *always* room for ice cream!" We layed there in the dark giggling for a few minutes (just like we did last night, but that was because the cat was walking into the room to jump on the bed, and since his back claws click on the floor as he walks, Rob said "I'm picturing Mish wearing brown little leather shoes and an Armani suit!" We were both laughing so much the cat got pissed off with us shaking the bed and left.)

Our giggling had finally died down and Rob's attention was back on his old radio shows that he downloads to listen to at night. (Most of the times these radio shows don't bug me, but once he put on this horror one and he fell asleep immediately. Unfortunately i didn't, so i ended up laying awake to the shrieking pterodactyl creature that was attacking everyone. "SCREECH!" "AAAHH!" "SCREECH!!" "HELP!!" "SCREECH!" "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" He was never allowed to listen to horror again.) However, my attention was NOT on the radio show. I rolled over towards him and said "Hey... whenever you eat too many pork chops you feel sick!" The giggling went on for a while longer, causing the cat to jump off the bed out of sheer annoyance. (Possibly with ears back and his famous "poo face")

Rob contemplated for a few minutes and answered "Okay fine.. i love you like bologna! I'll eat it even when it's rainbow-ey in colour and smells a little off!" I know what you're all thinking, so yes, there's a story behind this one. One night Rob and i were driving home from work and he was going on how he's still not feeling good. For the past 3 days he had been feeling quite pukey and his constant washroom trips only consisted of pee from both sides. I then said how weird that was because i can always tell when the cat's not feeling well, he gets really sucky and sticks to me like glue, and he had been like that for the past few days, plus he had a bit of a fever. We both wondered how in the world he and the cat would be sick at the same time. So we got off that topic to figure out what the heck to have for dinner, since it was late and we didn't want something heavy, plus we didn't want to cook. Rob suggested sandwiches, so i changed lanes and started heading to the grocery store instead of home. He questioned where we were going. "Ultra mart. We don't have anything for sandwiches except bread" He answers "No, we have bologna!" "*sigh* Rob that shoulda been in the garbage long ago, we've had it in the fridge for a month!" He turns to me and says "No, it's fine! The cat and i were eating it 3 days ago!... OOooohhh!!!" *bing*!! The mystery of cat and man being sick at the same time? It was solved.

Since this bed time conversation, our "love you like food" discussion continues to be a focal point throughout the days. But it's taken a little twist. We have these little fly bug things i like to call the "sidewalk bugs". The ones that fly around together in a bunch and do so right on the sidewalk and once you walk through them they use you like a planet and apparently get sucked into your gravitational pull. Annoying little buggers. Anyhoo, since it's the end of the summer, they're all swarming to any lights and since some of our windows aren't sealed in any way (just panes of glass sitting flush to one another) they easily get in and then proceed to die on our bathroom counter. Rob is so incredibly mad about these bugs, it's actually quite funny. Since this happens at this house every year, it doesn't bother me. Cause it happens *every year*. Rob on the other hand, has never experienced this, therefore tries to come up with reasons why they're here so he can get rid of them. Well, that's not gonna happen. He's become so obsessed he'll sit on the front porch and wonder what their purpose in this life is. I tell him they're alive just to piss him off.

But today he really made me laugh. As he's walking inside after a smoke he yells "Bugs!!! I hate you like LIMA BEANS!"

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